so i am at it again. emptying my life of unnecessary items. books, movies, your basic dust catchers.

i have realized that all you need is just a few things to be happy.

and what i have right now is not making me happy. i don't know exactly what is going on with me. but i have chronic malaise. i hate where i live. i'm so sick of trying and trying and not succeeding. i'm so sick of not understanding things that most people know but knowing plenty of things that seem irrelevant or too brainy for them. i'm so sick of being book smart. i'm so sick of feeling clueless.

i was having a regular conversation with a friend of mine and the people i was with said, "we don't know what they're talking about they're too into their intellectual zone." WHATEVER. SORRY WE KNOW HOW TO USE THE FUCKEN ENGLISH LANGUAGE. SORRY WE KNOW ABOUT TECHNOLOGY. SORRY WE CARE ABOUT SCIENCE. it wasn't even quote unquote "intellectual." It was such boring info that it barely made a blip on my inner radar screen to make me think, "wow this is a really good conversation." IT WAS SOOOOO STUPID.

& i'm so sick of seeing all my ideas not come to fruition because i don't have the $$$$ to back it and make it, and only to flip in some fucking magazine and see my idea and see someone else making beaucoup dollars from it.

i have to do something different in my life, like move to san diego or to seattle or paris or something. MY BRAIN IS GONNA ROT FROM THE STUPIDITY AROUND HERE.